my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
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The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
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We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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