Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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