This dress was meant to end up on your floor
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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