I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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