He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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