My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize