try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize