Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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