Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
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I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
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GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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