I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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