I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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