you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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