just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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