Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize