Too much gin, very little bucket
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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