just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize