Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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