I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
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The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
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I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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