You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize