apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
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He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
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Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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