How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
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i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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