john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize