just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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