I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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