I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
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A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
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Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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