If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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