dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize