Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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