drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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