I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
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drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
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In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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