I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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