when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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