I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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