I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
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I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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