I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
farters have to be the big spoon...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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