dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
50% drunk capacity currently
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Randomize