I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize