I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize