Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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