Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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