make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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