she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize