just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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