is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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