And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize