absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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