Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
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basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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