we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
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im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
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At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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