Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
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Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
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He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize