Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
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She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
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My boob is missing a layer of skin
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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